Becoming Levon Tostig
by TheNewIdea
Summary: Some people believe that the American Dream is nothing more than an unrealistic ideal, something that is nice to think about. For Hobbes, it is a personal mantra, a golden standard to live by. For Calvin, the American Dream is very simple- having things back to the way they used to be. Contains several characters from multiple newspaper comics.


The bar was a full house, a grand total of 25 people. Smoke, booze, a good bit of hormones and music filled the air as last call came round, sending everyone to the bar for the final drinks of the night. One particular group of patrons- Hobbes, Calvin, Garfield, Snoopy, Woodstock, Opus the Penguin and Steve Dallas however, were just getting started with the night.

Sitting at a large round table, the group casually reminisced of days that they believed were gone. The simple truth of the matter was that they were not gone, for that would mean that they were fleeting things, things that could not, no matter how hard one tried, be remembered.

"I remember we used to do all sorts of things" Calvin began, "We went to the Moon, to Mars, trekked through jungles and even became superheroes once..."

Hobbes nodded, for he remembered it as if it were yesterday, mostly because it was, but that was beside the point. Hobbes knew that Calvin would reminisce on what he would reminisce, nothing could change that, and no one at the table wanted to, for they understood that even yesterday, something so recent, could feel as distant and far as it takes a snail to travel a single mile.

"I remember when I could eat ten trays of lasagna in a day" Garfield added, "Now I'm down to nine...it's rather depressing."

Opus shook his head in disbelief, for he never seen or met as big a glutton as Garfield and that was saying something considering that he knew Bill the Cat.

"You're a fat gross pig Garfield" Opus replied rather coldly, "Who eats nine trays of lasagna in a single day?"

Garfield huffed as if he were insulted by the question. "I do" he defended, "Why? Doesn't everybody?"

The entire table shook their heads in disagreement causing Garfield to return to his drink. Hobbes looked around the room, his eyes falling upon Charlie, the bartender and his ex brother in law.

"Hey Charlie" Hobbes called, "Another round over here!"

Charlie shook his head, denying Hobbes' request.

"Its last call Hobbes" Charlie explained, "I couldn't even if I wanted to."

Hobbes huffed, "Come on Charlie, we're family for crying out loud, cut me some slack, be a friend, a pal. We're comrades, amigos-friends to end!"

Charlie rolled his eyes, disappointed in Hobbes' attempt, "Ex family" he corrected.

"Oh no" Hobbes said as he stood up, correcting Charlie in turn, "We're still cousins, that's family, so be a good buddy and get me some drink...please?"

Charlie sighed and flipped Hobbes the middle finger, "We're so distant it doesn't even matter Hobbes. Now sit back down before I claw your eyes out."

Hobbes sat down as quickly as he could; not bothering to look to anywhere but the table, letting out a long sigh Hobbes slowly receded into his mind, scrolling through various memories, deleting any that had to do with his wife and Charlie. Hobbes knew that they would eventually come back, as all memories do, but at least it calmed his mind and got him to relax once again.

Steve Dallas, seeing Hobbes' situation, pushed his glass over to the tiger, bidding him drink. Hobbes laughed at the gesture, politely declining.

"You know the rules Dallas" Hobbes said, pushing the drink back Dallas's way, "Everybody gets a little so we can share a lot."

Dallas shrugged; taking back the drink and making it disappear. It was almost like magic, which was convenient for Dallas was a part time street magician, which is ironic because he is a street magician and thus has no income to speak of and therefore is not part time in any sense of the word.

"That's the thing that gets me Hobbes" Calvin exclaimed, "How can we share something when we have so little? I mean look at you, you're living in a box!"

"What does that supposed to mean kid?" Snoopy declared, "I live a doghouse, which is basically a box to you right? I may not have a lot, but I have something and to me that's more than enough."

Calvin sighed, for Snoopy either didn't hear him or simply didn't want to. Either way Calvin decided not to follow up on his statement, lest he start something he wouldn't be able to finish.

Charlie rang the bell that sounded the bar's closing. The group stood up and regretfully made their way towards the door. Upon exiting the building, Calvin and Hobbes headed for home, down a lonely street; Calvin's house was first on the right. Hobbes' was on the corner of the curb, nothing more than a cardboard box.

"I told you Hobbes" Calvin began as he looked at Hobbes' box, which was partially destroyed by rainwater, "You can live with me. It's not any trouble."

Hobbes shook his head, "No Calvin" he replied, "Not after last time. Your parents would freak if they saw me again, you weren't even supposed to come tonight...No. It's better if things stay as they are. You live there-"

Hobbes pointed to the house, the more he looked at it the more he thought about taking Calvin's offer.

"And I live here. It's how it should be."

Calvin laughed, he couldn't believe Hobbes' stubbornness, but still he knew that Hobbes would do what Hobbes would do, much like himself there was no changing that.

"Sleep well Hobbes" Calvin said in parting as he made his way to the front porch, "Call if you need anything."

Hobbes nodded and watched as Calvin stepped foot on the porch, opened the door, closed the door and locked the door. Once Calvin was inside, Hobbes climbed into his wet box as carefully as he could; no sooner had he done this did the box fall apart, too damaged by the water and the addition of Hobbes' weight to be of any use.

"Yup" Hobbes exclaimed sarcastically, "This couldn't get any better!"

At that moment the sky opened up, releasing another storm like the one before. Hobbes, seeking shelter, knew that Calvin's house was out of the question, for Calvin was most likely already asleep, for he was a fast sleeper and he had recently lost his key to the building. Making a run to the house next door, Hobbes stood on the front porch, banging on the front door begging to be let in. He went unanswered. Hobbes shook his head and headed down the street to the last house on the left, the rain pelting him relentlessly.

The last house on the left belonged to Opus. It was a modest single story house with a white picket fence and a small front yard. A garden could be seen to the left of the door below the living room window. With its blue paint and white trim it was the perfect color scheme for a Kentuckian, Opus however, was a Bloom County native, which was somewhere in the Midwest.

"Opus" Hobbes said desperately, "Please open up, I'm freezing here!"

Opus reached the door dressed in a light blue nightgown with a matching cap. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, the penguin with the nose of a puffin gave a loud yawn and motioned for Hobbes to come inside.

Walking inside Opus's house Hobbes looked around, to the immediate left he could a couch and the rest of the living room, a TV was on the back wall. To the right of the door was a small dresser, on this dresser were several pictures that depicted Opus' time in Bloom County, many of them were with Milo, Steve Dallas and Bill the Cat. In front of Hobbes, after a small hallway that lead to the bedroom, was a medium sized kitchen big enough to house a small dining room table.

"Nice place" Hobbes said as he shook himself off like a dog trying to stay warm.

"I manage" Opus replied, "Now what is this time? Calvin's parents freak out again?"

Hobbes shook his head, "Thankfully no. My box got destroyed."

Opus rolled his eyes, for he knew the real reason why Hobbes lived in a box.

"If you can't afford a house why don't you just move in with Calvin?" Opus suggested, realizing that he was repeating himself for he had told Hobbes this many times.

"It's not that simple Opus" Hobbes answered, "I can't stay with Calvin. It's too dangerous, his parents already think something's wrong with him."

Opus huffed, believing Hobbes' words and at the same time not wanting to. "The word impossible does not exist" the penguin exclaimed, "It is an illusion created by man to fill the void that he has made for himself in order to make sense of the world around him."

Hobbes laughed, for he loved it even Opus got into his existentialism, it reminded him of himself. Still, despite Hobbes' intelligence, or believed intelligence, whichever you believed, he was still a tiger of simple things, wanting nothing more than tuna sandwiches and sunny fields. But that was what he only told Calvin, Hobbes, in reality, wanted much more than that. He wanted a house of his own, to do that he had to get money, which he didn't have and was in short supply everywhere in town. Hobbes also wanted his wife, something that was impossible considering that she was in North Dakota married to a bigwig oil baron. Why there was oil in North Dakota, Hobbes did not know, but somehow there was and it was obviously an attraction of money, not love-that drew his ex wife there. Hobbes figured, if he had enough money, he could find a way to win her back. So far, he was failing, for Hobbes didn't have a single cent to his name.

"Ever heard of Levon Tostig?" Hobbes asked curiously, hoping that Opus would know what he was talking about.

"Levon Tostig?" Opus replied, "You mean that guy from the Elton John song?"

Hobbes nodded, "The very same...Levon Tostig, the ideal for the American dream."

Opus shook his head, "I wouldn't call that the ideal for the American Dream Hobbes, considering all the guy does is blow balloons and die a slow and painful death."

Hobbes laughed heartedly at this, for Opus was missing the point and taking the song too literally, much to Hobbes' annoyance.

"You have to think Opus" Hobbes declared, "It's about perseverance, providing for the family and having enough money to do those things, that's the American Dream."

Opus, thinking that Hobbes was mentally insane, simply decided to retire to his room, leaving the tiger to his own thoughts with the always open couch with an already made blanket draped over the side.

"If I could become that guy" Hobbes said to himself as he laid down on the couch, "Maybe things can get back to normal. Maybe I can have what everyone has...I just have to believe hard enough, that's what Calvin does, he believes in everything, sees the good in people. I wish I could do that, maybe I should be Calvin instead-"

Hobbes went to sleep after this, but his mind remained awake, thinking of ways to regain what he had or if not, to build it into something better, something more than what he had before.


End file.
